The first thing I should mention is that at Goodreads, you can enter to win a free copy of The Thorn and the Blossom. You can enter until November 30th, so go sign up! Because you never know, and if you don’t sign up, you can’t win.
The second thing I should mention is that I just don’t feel like writing today. This past week I’ve been through one of the worst experiences in the world: being terribly hurt by someone you thought was a good friend. Someone you’d been there for and supported, even when it was incredibly difficult to do so. Someone you’d respected and cared for, until suddenly you couldn’t respect him anymore. And you started wondering if you’d known him at all.
So I’ve been thinking about what you do in a situation like that, how you handle it. Because I think we reveal ourselves most in times of hurt and anger, in times of stress. And I think the only thing we can do, in times like those, is forgive and let go. To forget the hurtful things that were said, to remember the wonderful things. The friendship, the affection, the laughter. The private references that no one else is going to understand. The talking about stories, the trading of music. What the two of you had together that neither of you will ever have with anyone else.
And you move on and remind yourself how fortunate you are: to have an incredible community of friends all over the world, to be able to pursue the creative work you love, to have a book coming out in January.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the future, and where I want it to take me. And it seems to me that, for the first time in a long time, the future is wide open. I’ve finished the PhD, so I have the credentials I’ll need to teach at the university level, and I’m publishing regularly. It’s scary too because I don’t know where the future will take me yet. I don’t know where to go from here. But I have a feeling, just the beginning of a feeling, that I’m headed somewhere – I don’t know where yet. It’s as though I’m waiting for an indication, some sort of sign. Is that silly? And yet it’s worked for me before.
I do know one thing: I want a magical life. I was thinking about that when I saw an article on this house under a hill in Wales:
Isn’t it beautiful? I don’t necessarily want a house under a hill, but I want to live differently. I don’t know where I’ll find that life yet. I’m not even sure what it’s going to look like – I just know how it feels when the magic happens. But I’m sure I’ll get there.